Autism and Anxiety
You know that feeling where your racing heart-rate won’t slow down, your face feels sweaty and your insides are churning? Where your thoughts are spinning around your head in endless circles? Where you feel dread and complete nausea from everything? I live with that every day.
Anxiety isn’t intrinsic to autism. Not all autistic people even experience anxiety, but…
Growing Up With Undiagnosed Autism
I spent nearly 17 years of my life with no idea that I had a completely different neurotype to the majority of people around me. I thought my brain was ‘typical’. After all, I seemed to blend in with my peers.
Growing up undiagnosed meant that I had to hide the fact I found a lot of things difficult, because I thought it was my fault that…
Sensory Overload and Over-Stimulation
Although I KNOW that I experience sensory stimuli differently to a lot of people, I can’t comprehend how anyone else possibly experiences it differently.
Like, how does anybody focus on the task at hand when there is a beeping noise going on outside? How does anyone…
Things I Love About My Autism
1. Autistic joy. When I am captivated by joy and nothing else. It’s pure, it’s unfiltered and it’s wonderful.
2. My strong sense of justice. Other people often don’t seem to care when things are unfair. I do and I try to do what I can to change this.
Autistic Vulnerability - Am I More Vulnerable Because of My Autism?
I fundamentally believe that as a result of being autistic, I am a lot more vulnerable than if I wasn’t autistic.
I have heard some autistic people voice that saying we are vulnerable is a bad thing. I understand why. I think that there is a valid danger of non-autistic people seeing…
Why Do So Many Autistic Girls and Autistic Women Go Undiagnosed?
Before we dive into the reasons why so many autistic girls and women go undiagnosed, we need to acknowledge that for many of the same reasons, autistic non-binary people, trans women and anyone who is not cis male often go undiagnosed. Gender bias in autism affects more people than…
Am I Being Rude or Is My Autism Not Being Understood and Accommodated For?
Autistic people are often told that they are being rude. In my experience, this is often from people who don’t know that I am autistic, or those who do but who think that autism isn’t an ‘excuse’ for ‘rudeness’.
So, what exactly IS this so-called rudeness?
Feeling Ashamed of ‘The Autistic Side of Me’
I guess I have this deep-rooted fear that allowing people to see the ‘autistic side of me’ will make them run away. I try not to be ‘too much’, to not get ‘too excited’, to not shut-down or melt-down or pretend I’m not overwhelmed.
I remember what it felt like to be eight and be laughed at for…
What School Was Like as an (Undiagnosed) Autistic
School began as a sanctuary, a safe space. 5-year-old me loved the classroom, all the new books I was being introduced to, the stories I heard and the new things I was learning. I couldn’t believe my luck, that I could go to school every day and learn such fascinating things.
25 Things That I Wish I Had Known As An (Undiagnosed) Autistic Child
1. That when a teacher instructs you to “write as much as you can”, they don’t mean this literally. You don’t have to turn in 30 double sided pieces of A4. You can write two sides like everyone else.
2. Similarly, when a teacher tells you to “wait outside”, they don’t actually mean outside the building. They mean…
What I Would Say To My Undiagnosed Autistic Self
To my undiagnosed autistic self…
I would love to tell you that you are autistic, because knowing that about yourself would take so much of your guilt and shame away. Unfortunately you won’t know that for years, so for now I will tell you these things instead.
What OCD Is
OCD is constantly running late because you had to tap your steering wheel fifty times before you left or you would have a car crash.
OCD is cancelling meeting up with your friend because of your intrusive thoughts that you might hurt them.
Receiving An Autism Diagnosis Was The Most Liberating Feeling In The World
Receiving an autism diagnosis was the most liberating feeling in the world.
I don’t know how old I was when I realised that I was different. Perhaps it was when I realised that I had no interest in the things other kids in my class cared about. Perhaps it was when I…
What I Mean When I Say That “I Can’t Cope With Life” As An Autistic Person
“I can’t cope with life”.
My existence and the world just seem incompatible with each other. There are constant barriers every day that I can’t seem to overcome. The world itself just doesn’t seem like it’s made for me.
What It Was Like Growing Up Autistic
I’m not sure how old I was when I realised that I was different. I suspect it was at some point during primary school. Perhaps it was when I realised that I had no interest in the things other kids in my class cared about. Perhaps it was when I was bullied for not fitting in. But I do know that I grew up…
My OCD Story
When my OCD first arrived, it tricked me into believing that it was my friend. It told me that if I did certain things then I didn’t need to worry about the anxious thoughts which had been ruling my head since early 2015. Finally, I thought, this was a way to control my panic attacks.
Visible Autistic Traits That I Had as a Child
It wasn’t obvious that I was autistic when I was a child. As a result, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 16, after years of severe mental health problems.
Here are some of the signs of me being autistic which may have been somewhat visible to others:
Less Spoken About Autistic Traits
Some autism traits are spoken about a lot. Others, not so much, even though they still affect our daily lives. So, what are some of these less spoken about autistic traits?
Face blindness. This is where somebody struggles to recognise other people’s faces.
My Journey Of How I Found Out That I Am Autistic
I was diagnosed with autism when I was 16, after years of struggling with my mental health and finding myself sectioned on a CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) unit.
One evening when I was on home leave from the ward, I sat my parents down at the kitchen table and…
Talking To Your Child About Self-Harm - From Both a Parent and Child's Point of View
I know that talking to your child about self-harm can be exceptionally daunting. You and your child are probably both experiencing a lot of difficult emotions, and it can be hard to know how to deal with it. I hope that my Mum and I can offer some words of advice and comfort for you.