What Not To Say To Autistic People
“You don’t look autistic”
What exactly is an autistic person meant to look like? Do enlighten me. Because you can never tell if someone is autistic just by looking at them.
“Everyone’s a bit autistic”
No they're not. You either have an autistic brain or you don't. Autistic traits are human traits too, but the intensity and number of traits differs from non-autistic people.
“I would never have guessed”
That is because we don't walk around with a sign on our forehead saying that we are autistic. You can't tell if someone is autistic by looking at them.
“You must be high functioning”
Functioning labels are not helpful. High functioning ignores need and low functioning ignores autonomy. Plus it doesn’t describe someone’s actual needs. For example, non-speaking, learning disabled, sensory seeking etc.“Oh I’m sorry to hear that”
Autism is not a disease or an illness. Please don't say you are sorry. Perhaps say: thank you for telling me. Or, is there anything you would like me to know?“My friend’s son has autism and you’re not like him”
No-one is the same, including autistic people. Also, this is usually said to adults and of course adults are not like children. People grow up and support needs change!“Are you sure?”
It can take a lot of courage for an autistic person to disclose that they are autistic. Please believe them. It is not your responsibility to assess them.“Are you good at maths then?”
Autistic people have a range of talents, just like non-autistic people. These include art, drama, music, as well as science and maths. We are all different!“Were you vaccinated?”
Autism is not caused by vaccines, and asking this question is offensive. This is a myth and very unhelpful for autistic people to hear.“You should say you have autism, because you are more than your autism”
The majority of autistic people prefer identity-first language (aka ‘autistic person’) rather than person-first language (aka ‘person with autism). Autism is part of us. It isn’t just something we can pick up and put down. Please don’t correct autistic people’s language preferences.
I wrote a similar post here, discussing things that a lot of autistic people are fed up of hearing!
