School-Based Anxiety and Attendance
Sometimes it feels like the only thing that matters to politicians and education leaders is school attendance. And when they declare that the best place for children to be is in school, it makes me feel like my school experience doesn’t matter, and makes me feel angry for all the children and young people currently experiencing similar to what I did.
School-based anxiety is real. I am now 23 years old and I vividly remember the anxiety and distress school caused me. I started primary school enjoying school. But my anxiety got worse around year nine and never really got any better until I left school at the end of year thirteen. Even then, I still struggled through university. Only since I’ve been working has my anxiety reduced significantly, now that I have more control over my environment and what I do with my day and now that I can work from home a couple of days a week to reduce the overwhelm.
I work a busy 9-5 job four days a week as a mental health nurse. Work can be stressful. But it has never yet compared to what facing a week at school was like. A week of constant anxiety, being in constant fight or flight mode, constantly waiting for the next panic attack to hit. There wasn’t enough time on the weekends - or even holidays for that matter - for my anxiety to settle, because I knew it was just around the corner. And this is coming from someone who actually wanted to be at school. I didn’t want to be homeschooled or to be away from my friends. I just wanted the panic to go.
It can be hard to understand school-based anxiety unless you’ve experienced it yourself or someone close to you has. But when the environment is feels that overwhelming and anxiety that high, please understand that the distress is immense. Connolly et al. (2023) state: “While not a story of exclusivity relating solely to autism, School Distress is a story dominated by complex neurodivergence and a seemingly systemic failure to meet the needs of these CYP.” We exist. Our experiences matter. We want to be heard.
A screenshot I have of my attendance from sixth form says it was 29.6%. Except, when I look back at that time I don’t think about the lessons I should’ve been in that I wasn’t. I think about the family holiday my family went on without me and the friend’s birthdays I missed because I was in hospital. I think about the social events I didn’t go to because I was too anxious. I think about the days I left things early because I was distressed. Shouldn’t the life I missed matter just as much as the lessons I missed?
In-case you think that my attendance being 29.6% has affected my future…you’re right. It changed my path completely. Instead of aiming to study English Literature at Oxford University, I chose to study Mental Health Nursing and stay at home. Now I work as a mental health nurse and I’m a Sunday Times Bestselling author of Girl Unmasked: How Uncovering My Autism Saved My Life.
I do not deny that school and education are important. They open the door to opportunities and greater knowledge. But school attendance is not always the most important thing and sometimes it needs to take a backseat until the individual is able to engage in education again. I hope that one-day there will be more options available and increased acceptance and access to a variety of education options aside from traditional schooling.
For anyone who needs to hear it, please know that your ability to manage school does not dictate your future.
Love, Emily x
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DF2e4jSMdti/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFLg6pnMVsY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
See also:
The Truth Behind the ‘Attendance Crisis’ and Stories From Those Who Have Been There. #NotASchoolSkiver
I Was Not a “School Skiver”
Check out the organisation ‘Not Fine in School’ if this is of relevance to you.
GIRL UNMASKED (The Sunday Times Bestseller) is available to order from Amazon and all major bookstores!
The paperback is out 27th February and can be pre-ordered here:
https://linktr.ee/girlunmasked
If you would like to support my blog on a one-off or monthly basis, you can here: https://buymeacoffee.com/itsemilykaty