Ways That Autistic People Might Find Comfort

The things which comfort us help us to feel safer in a world which is so far away from being comforting. They help us to make sense of a world in which it feels like everyone speaks a different language to us. They help us to cope with a life which is constantly overwhelming.

We might find comfort in things which don’t seem ‘normal’ to non-autistic people. This can result in people telling us to “stop being childish” or to “grow up” or to tell us that we are being ridiculous.

Routine brings a lot of autistic people comfort. When we are constantly trying to process information which is almost incompatible with our brains, we need consistency. Sameness. To know what is going to happen exactly when and be able to predict the next steps. This can help us feel calmer and help us to navigate our day.

Familiarity in other ways also brings comfort. Using the same fork. Taking the exact same route. Doing the same thing on the same day at the same time. Speaking to the same people. Unfamiliarity can send our brains into overdrive. Familiarity on the other hand is comforting.

Stimming. This is any kind of repetitive action - it could be flapping, rocking, singing the same words, fidgeting etc. Even twiddling hair is stimming. For autistic people, these actions can help reduce anxiety or manage sensory overload/overwhelm. Stimming isn’t only to manage negative emotions. It can also just be a way our bodies move when we are excited or happy. It feels good. It feels natural. Often this just happens without us even realising it. Our bodies just do it automatically.

Specific objects. Autistic people may have a specific object which makes them feel safe. They may just feel that they have to have it with them all the time. It’s comforting. For me this tends to be my tangle. At one stage it was a diary that I wrote in all of the time to cope with the stress of everything around me.

Autistic people can find a great deal of comfort from sensory experiences. Different sensory things will feel wonderful for some autistic’s and painful for others. It may be that certain lights, sounds, textures, clothing, sights, smells etc brings a lot of comfort. Weighted blankets are also wonderful for helping to ground you and feel safe.

Certain food can be really comforting. For me this is strawberry milk. I think it’s the sensory aspect of it. If I’m feeling anxious, a glass of strawberry milk can help me to feel a bit less anxious. It can be really satisfying and calming to swallow certain foods.

Special interests can bring so much comfort to us. Engaging with them can help us detach from anxiety and help us to self-regulate. The intensity of our interest often appears strange to non-autistic people. But we are just absorbed in a more comforting world for a little while.

I hope this brings a bit more understanding to those who find our actions and behaviours ‘strange’. And remember, we can find the stuff non-autistic’s find comforting, comforting too! We are just people after all.

What brings you comfort?